As I reflect today on the gift of my life, my mind body and spirit is spiraling with mixed emotions. I honor my sadness, happiness, gratefulness and how blessed I feel today. I honor my state of being present in my life.

Birthdays was a special time in my home growing up, it was a day when all the people you love and who love you celebrate you. You get showered with presents, a birthday cake and your favourite meal. I was and still am on some levels one of those crazy people who just love birthdays for all that they represent, a celebration of one’s life.

As a little girl it was all about presents and taking chocolates to school and no matter what you did on that day you would not get into trouble with your parents because it was your birthday. I remember not being able to sleep the night before as I could not wait to get my presents and take my chocolates to school, not forgetting the biggest slab of chocolate for my teacher. ( to this day I do not understand who came up with this ritual that we got sucked into , in retrospect my teacher should have given me a chocolate…lol )

My mum was the glue, she was instrumental in creating our birthday traditions and rituals and making me feel special from the time I was a little girl and she did that till my last birthday she celebrated with me 5 years ago. I miss her deeply on my birthdays, a woman that gave birth to me, a woman that taught me how to love and be loved. I miss my family on my birthday and as I feel that I can’t help but acknowledge and feel blessed and grateful for my new family.

I reflect today that as I get older, birthdays have a different meaning for me. (Don’t get me wrong I still LOVE presents and a birthday cake J) It’s about meaningful connections with my people, it’s about acknowledging and feeling blessed for all the people in my life who add value to my life, it’s about thanking GOD for guidance and support and for keeping me connected to myself at all times. I am blessed with real people who love me and accept me just as I am. I have learnt that love and time heals and I have learnt that I am loved. It’s also about being thankful for all my experiences that teach me and help me grow and evolve everyday. It’s about feeling loved and appreciated by those who love you. It’s about acknowledging that even though I have been through some challenging storms I am OK and will always be ok. It’s about still having dreams and wishes and wanting more in your life. It’s about honouring myself in that as I have moved and move through my life, I fallen so many times and have picked myself up an equal number of times more courageous, resilient and stronger. I have fallen into holes that were deep and dark, into shallow holes with light , I have walked past some holes, skipped over some , looked at some and decided should I , shouldn’t I but with each decision and or experience I became stronger and more connected to myself . My imperfections have added colour into my life which has consisted of learning and self discoveryJ. The one thing I know for sure is that change is constant and life changes you too. Who would have known two years ago when I was celebrating my birthday with the same rituals and traditions my mum instilled in our family that I would be celebrating a whole new year in a different country today and here I am with my heart full and ready to start new rituals and traditions being away from what I have known as my norm.

So today I choose to celebrate me and my life with all of its colours and I celebrate all of you who are part of my life and who love me just as I am . Happy Birthday to me.